Sermon - Pentecost 18

October 4, 2009 

If you look at the story of Adam and Eve, what you see are people who desired to be in control. However, it was not just Adam and Eve. King Saul wanted to be in control. King David wanted to be in control.

There is a trait common to all people. It is something that we have difficulty seeing in ourselves, but it is there in each individual. It is something that touches every relationship that we have. If you watch people long enough, you will see that at the core of our hearts is a desire to be in control.

Control comes naturally to us, and we all approach it in different ways. We seek our own safety and security, which is at the heart of our desire to control. Some people control by dominating others. Some people control by withdrawing, while others charm, and still others will give off a sense of intimidation. We control because we want to be safe. We control because we want to be secure.

There is a will to power that many of us experience. In the end, that will to power or desire for control is about fear. It is fear of rejection, fear of personal pain, fear of being alone, and fear of not being taken seriously.

The will to power is not necessarily about forcing ourselves over someone. Rather it is power in terms of giving us a sense of security and control.

Someone once pointed out to me how driven we are by the desire for approval. We will spend thousands of dollars on houses, cars, and cloths. We will shape friendships by our need for approval. We will obsess about our looks, social standing, and how we present ourselves. We do all of this for approval so as to be accepted. With acceptance, we feel that we have some measure of security and control in our lives.

At the root of our problems in dealing with God is our desire to be in control. We want to set the rules and we want to enforce the rules we set. The difficulty is that we are not in control. In fact, we live in a world that is very much outside of our control. The simple reality is that in the midst of this world, we are actually very weak and very fragile.

This is the first fact we must learn. The relationships between men and women and the question of divorce are singled out as examples of our fallen nature, our fragility, and our desire to be in control in a world outside of our control.

God created human beings and distinguished between two: the man and woman. God then provided what was needed to ensure that the two would desire each other. The union of man and woman was not intended to be a passing encounter, but a lasting relationship.

Human beings, on the other hand, have sought to diminish the union for various reasons. We turn it into a thing where we live out not God’s intent but our own. All of this grows out of our desire to make the relationship something other than what God intended. It is a desire to make the relationship exist on our terms alone. It is the consequence of poisoning the relationship by making it the brunt of our anger, hurt, insecurity, and fears.

Nevertheless, God is the one who created us, and established the relationships we may enjoy. It is our place to acknowledge the structures and limits God has provided, and to recognize that when we create new structures and establish different limits we are, in fact, challenging God’s authority over us. We set our control over and against God’s purpose for us.

When looking at this text on divorce, what we see here is an illustration of human brokenness. It stands in a sense as an example of all our relationships that are marked by our human failings and shortcomings. Divorce is simply one of many places where the power of our sin shows itself.

As humans, we like to point out the sin in others. We have this desire to lord our virtue over others; however, we fail to see that lauding that virtue is a failure in virtue. It is just another attempt to give us power and control by finding a flaw in another person.

I know the scene in which we see Jesus in today’s reading. These rather pleased with themselves Pharisees come to Jesus posing a question to find fault in him. Jesus turns it around so that they see their own fault. He exposes their desire to have power. In doing so, he shows them where real hope and life is found. We come before God not boasting of our power but lack of it. We come to God not pointing to how much better we are than others, but how much alike we all are in our need for God’s forgiveness. We come to God acknowledging our lack of control rather than our ability in it.

Here is where our lesson speaks to all of us, married, divorced, single, remarried, engaged, in a failing marriage, or a happy one. In the end no matter who we are, or our station in life, the truth of this text rings true for all of us. For this lesson is less about marriage and more about our need for humility before God. It is there that our true security stands. It is with God who created and redeems us that our peace is found. And it is through him and his grace that we find the foundation of all relationship and our lives. We live in Christ, by Christ, and for Christ in all the phases, stages, and circumstances of our lives. Amen.